To You I Will Always Belong
by MantyMouse
Summary: Ben's departure tears heartland on all levels, business, friendship and romance. And then Ashley turns up looking for a job. Amy's head spins as she finally realises maybe her dreams lie in a different direction after all. set around time of holding fast
1. The Girl With The Red Sports Car

**Author's Note: **Yo guys! Nice to meet you all...i'm looking for a new bunch of readers this time cos im on a new fanbase :D i just love heartland and i'm hoping you'll love my story!! please review, it makes my day!!

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, **wish i was Lauren Brooke but i'm not, all of this belongs to its rightful owners, i just use my overactive imagination to re-arrange and slightly change it for you guys. i make no claim on any of it.

**Blurb: **When Ben announces he's leaving Heartland is torn at the seams. Friendships, romance and even business is thrown into whirlwind as the Heartland characters battle among themselves to regain control of their feelings and still heal horses. Then when Ashley turns up looking for a job Amy doesnt know what to think, she'd thought it was the end of her competing career but Ashley is trying to persuade her otherwise...what if, after all this time, her dreams lie in a different direction altogether.

**Summary before you read: **Set around the time(ish) of Holding Fast. Ben has recently announced his departure and an unexpected replacement has turned up. In my version of this Amy hasn't yet got rid of Storm, but she is toying with the idea of selling him to Nick for Daniel because she can't keep up with competing and Heartland. Amy and Ty aren't dating right now, but Lou and Scott are (they're just not married yet) Matt and Soraya are getting really close but not dating, and obviously Matt's finished with Ashley a while ago. And also Venture and Joni don't come to Heartland in this one.

"Maybe you should give her a chance Amy, she might be the best person for the job. And if she's coming here then that must mean there's nowhere else for her to go. Maybe heartland could be the best place for her right now." Lou's words rung true and Amy could still here Matt saying to her, _'there's probably no one in the world who needs help more than Ashley Grant'_. But she'd tried that once before and got it thrown back in her face, she was hardly likely to put everything behind her and welcome Ashley to Heartland as a replacement for Ben. Amy glanced at Ben now; he looked really uncomfortable,

"Hey Amy," It was as if he'd sensed her watching him, " I can hang around a few weeks, I'm sure Nick would understand. Then you could wait for another offer to come up." She instantly felt guilty; of course she didn't want Ben to hang around longer than he wanted to. Or did she?

"No that's fine. You're right Lou," She looked around at Ty, Grandpa, Lou and Ben, "I think we should take Ashley on as our new stable hand." Amy forced a smile for Ben's sake and took the handset Lou held out, dialling the mobile number Ashley had left with the job application.

"Hello, Ashley Grant." Ashley's cool, clipped, telephone voice answered on exactly the third ring.

"Hi Ashley, it's Amy here."

"Amy!" Her voice changed to a lighter tone instantly as Amy turned her back on the others and walked into the office where she didn't feel like she was being watched through her entire conversation. "Are you ringing about the job?" Ashley's voice had a slight tremor to it, as though she actually cared about the response, Amy decided to be civil.

"Yes actually. I've talked things through with Lou and Grandpa, and Ty of course, and we've decided we'd like to give you the job." The words sounded forced and alien but Ashley obviously didn't notice.

"That's great." She replied smoothly,

"We just need to discuss the arrangements then." Amy heard a deep breath being taken at the other end,

"I was going to bring Bright Magic with me." Amy's eyes widened and she bit back the sarcastic response 'I thought Heartland wasn't the place for horses as good as him'. Instead she found herself gabbling,

"Yes, yes that would be fine. He can have Red's stall. Ben was planning on leaving on Thursday afternoon, maybe you could come by tomorrow without Magic and we can get you settled in." Amy caught herself from going off on automatic pilot by remembering this was _Ashley _she was talking to.

"I'd love to Amy. What time do you start work?" Amy gave a harsh laugh

"I start at six." She retorted, and heard silence on the other end, she remembered she needed to be polite, "But if you wanted to come round about nine that would be great."

"Ok, I'll be round then. Bye Amy." Amy hung up, her head still reeling from what she'd agreed to.

The meeting had split up and she hurried through the deserted kitchen to get out on the yard where she could think straight. After doing the rounds of the stalls she made her way up to Sundance's paddock and Amy noticed a figure leant on the gate, one she recognised as Ben's. Amy caught herself blushing as she saw him, her and Ben had been getting awfully close before he'd announced that he was leaving, since then things had been different, Amy hadn't been able to pretend that she didn't care he was leaving, so where did that leave her? She went and leant next to him.

"Needed to think?" He asked,

"Yeah, you?" He nodded.

"I guess that was a big thing for you." Amy laughed,

"It could be worse." She paused, wondering whether to say what was on her mind, "How are you feeling about going to Nick's?"

"Great, his barn is incredible!" Ben enthused, and Amy smiled to see the glow in his eyes, but inside she felt a nagging disappointment _well what did you expect him to say? _"I feel a bit weird that tomorrow is my last full day at Heartland though," He glanced around at his surroundings, "I'm sure gonna miss this, and I'm- um- I'm going to miss you too Amy." She felt herself blush, _that's what you were expecting him to say _but she'd never imagined she would have meant that much to him.

"Thanks Ben." She replied softly, and then to cover up their embarrassment, "It's going to be weird not going to shows together, or for me, not going to shows at all."

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" Amy shook her head and looked down. On impulse Ben grabbed her hand. "Come with me. We could be working pupil partners, Red and Storm would love it, Nick's will be amazing; come on! The dream team, we'd keep winning and you could fulfil your dream to compete." Amy laughed, for one wild moment she could have believed it.

"Ben if I could-"

"Why can't you?" He took hold of her other hand, Amy found herself blushing more deeply. She wrenched her hands away from his.

"Ben you know I just can't." She walked quickly in the direction of the stable block, trying to push from her mind the tidal wave of feelings she was having.

Next morning Amy was awake far too early. She made herself a coffee and walked in the semi-light to the barn. She found her way to Storm's stall and leant on his neck, weaving her fingers in his mane.

"Oh Storm, how can I let you go?" And a little voice in her head answered, _you don't have to, you heard Ben…they're your dreams you should go for them! And Ben…Ben…_Her mind stumbled over the name, she had no idea what had happened suddenly. Sure they were close friends, sure they had their arguments, they'd flirted a little but it was hard not to when you spent eight to ten hours every day with someone as good looking as him; but this was different. _He held my hand. _She shook her head and drained her coffee mug, going to get started on the early morning feeds.

Amy managed to immerse herself in work so much that she didn't see Ben more than to say good morning before dashing to save a water bucket from over flowing at the hose. It was at exactly nine o'clock when Amy heard an engine in the drive way, she clapped a hand to her forehead and stopped grooming Molly; she had, of course, completely forgotten about Ashley coming round. Amy got to the drive in time to see Ashley turn off the engine of her shiny red sports car and step out. She pulled her glossy blonde hair back off her shoulders and smiled widely at Amy. She was wearing dark jeans, expensive looking trainers and a Harry Hall puff-jacket, Amy thought she noticed a flicker of doubt cross Ashley's face as she looked around. _Let's see how long it is before she goes running back to mummy. _

"Hi Amy."

"Ashley." Amy took a deep breath, "I'll take you inside to say hello to Lou and Grandpa and then we can take a look round the yard and meet the horses. Would that be ok?" Ashley nodded looking nervous as Amy led her towards the farmhouse.

"Hi Ashley." Lou smiled up from the doorway of the office, "I thought I heard a car pull up. Yours is the red one right?" Lou was trying to sound casual but to Amy it was bitingly obvious that no one else at Heartland would be able to afford a car like that.

"Yes it is." Ashley was ill at ease but smiled anyway,

"I'm sorry Grandpa's just gone to run a few errands," Amy heard Lou saying, "But I'm sure he'd love to meet you when you come tomorrow, though of course you wont be officially started until Friday. Oh by the way, have you got accommodation sorted or are you travelling from Green Briar every day." Amy watched Ashley curiously as a muscle jumped in her jaw,

"I've actually moved away from Green Briar." She replied stiffly, "It's why I need to bring Magic here, I've got nowhere to keep him now that mum's- I mean, now that I've moved away from mum." Seemingly relieved to finish the explanation a smile was firmly back in place while Lou stumbled with an answer.

"Oh that's…Oh I see. Ok well I'd better get back to the office." Amy gave her a rueful smile and directed Ashley back outside. _So Ashley's stepping away from her mom, now that really is interesting. And her bringing Magic here…_Amy's interest intensified in spite of herself. Bright Magic was Ashley's 6-figure-sum Danish Warm Blood and he was a star in every sense, the way that storm was, but he'd been going badly under Mrs Grant's stifling training methods. Amy had once taught Ashley another way to get through to a horse and she was sure Ashley still remembered, _maybe now she's here her and Magic will be ok. _Although of course she'd never want them to be better than her and Storm Amy knew she'd always be happier as long as the horses were happy, regardless of whether or not she won, _not that it matters now I wont be competing, _she reflected sadly. She pulled herself abruptly out of her brain's incessant rambling,

"Let's do the tour shall we?" Ashley seemed grateful to get out of the house even as she threw a doubtful glance round the stable blocks. _Here goes nothing. _Amy thought, before turning her pessimism to a bright smile, "Over there is the trailer park," She gestured left, "All these fields are turn out paddocks, each horse goes in a specific field; it'll take a little while to get to grips with." She tried for a reassuring smile but saw Ashley twiddling with the hem of her jacket.

"Why is that field empty." She interjected sharply,

"It's Pegasus' field," Amy felt a lump in her throat, "That's where we buried him so we just keep that one empty. Now," She moved on, noticing a tiny, quizzical frown appear on Ashley's brow. "These six stalls are mainly for our permanent residents. Red you already know and Sundance." They moved along, "Melody and Daybreak still share this stall because it's biggest-"

"So Magic will be in Red's stall?" Ashley cut in. And as Amy turned sharply in annoyance she noticed she'd left Ashley behind, the girl was paused with an absent hand resting on Red's neck."

"Yes." Amy clicked her tongue impatiently and Ashley pouted a little as she got the hint and kept up. "This is Jasmine, she's a permanent rescue horse, very sweet tempered. Storm, you've met before. And this is little Sugar Foot."

"He's a sweetie," Ashley commented, looking down at the Shetland, "He looks like my first pony, a little." Amy knew Ashley had been blessed with a string of impeccable horses since the age of about three and Amy doubted very much whether any of them were as cheeky as Sugar Foot or had ever been through what he had, still it was a surprise that Ashley even remembered them as far as Amy was concerned.

They moved to the centre of the yard. "Tack room and rug store are over there by the trailer park, the feed room is just behind these stalls. Muck heap over there, and we keep the wheel barrow and things in the back barn. You can see the training rings," Amy paused, expecting a sarcastic comment but none came. And there's Ty," She smiled and he came over.

"Hi Ashley," He smiled warmly, "Nice to have you on board." Ashley nervous shook his outstretched hand; apparently she hadn't been expecting courtesy. "Amy I notice you were halfway through grooming Molly." Amy nodded gratefully noticing his effort to take Ashley off her hands, after all there was only so much Ashley Grant she could stand at one time. "How about I take Ashley round the back barn, introduce all our residents and get her up to speed. We'll leave the trails and the real work till tomorrow." He jerked his head towards the rest of the stalls with a smile and Amy split off to get back to her grooming. _It must have been a lot of pride to swallow to get Ashley here, I just hope it's worth it for us. I just feel like she couldn't ever belong, not to Heartland. _


	2. Leaving

**Author's Note: **_After much persuasion i've decided to keep writing this story :) i think it'll be fine, my writer's block has gone! lol. Hope you all enjoy this next chapter as choices to come begin to show themselves and things intensify between Amy and Ben..._

Amy had already been up for a good few hours and was putting off thinking about Ben's leaving. Ashley arriving would be difficult enough to keep her brain occupied for a few hours. She saw Ty wheeling the barrow across the frosty November yard and smiled as he stopped to sweep his hair from his eyes. Amy pulled herself away from the Melody's half-door and walked over to him. His eyes smiled in his greeting,

"Morning Miss Flemming."

"Didn't see you arrive." Ty nodded apologetically,

"Sorry I was a bit late, I got an emergency phone call from Ashley Grant of all people," Amy raised her eyebrows,

"About?"

"She wanted to find out if there would be room for the trailer at to arrive at 10." Amy nodded for him to continue, "Well I told her we'd squeeze it in between our delivery from the feed merchants and our two high-class sports horse arrivals at 10.30." Ty teased, she smirked,

"You told her it was fine then?" He nodded,

"All taken care of. And speaking of taken care of, Ben's leaving meal on Sunday, shall we invite Ashley?" Amy groaned, "Amy…" He put on his best reasoning voice but Amy held up her hand, knowing the good reasons all too well already,

"It's ok, she should start becoming part of the Heartland team as soon as possible, I know, it's just-" She cast her thoughtful, grey eyes into the distance and settled them on the dew covered back fields,

"Difficult." Ty finished for her in an instant, "I know," Amy took another minute to look away and then snapped from her daydream,

"I'd better collect in these feeds," She smiled, "Or I'll never be ready in time for the arrival of our new stable hand."

"Woah boy!" Amy called Tarronto, the blue-roan gelding to a halt on the end of the lunge line and slowly walked towards him. Tarronto had come to them for schooling and rehabilitating after he was found abandoned, fully grown, and tethered to a stake in the middle of nowhere with his halter long since grown out of. He had been originally easy to bond with, having such a kind honest nature, but after that very tricky to train for riding as he had been tethered since he was younger and grown up with no human contact. But it was always harder to teach an older horse, and her and Ty had eventually made the break through they were looking for, he was almost ready to go back once he'd got used to other riders. _Maybe Ashley could try him, _Amy caught herself thinking. _Slow down girl, you don't even know if she'll hang around yet. _Absent-mindedly Amy patted the affectionate gelding and laughed as he pushed his nose into her shoulder,

"Enough for one day?" She asked him,

"I should say so, you're working him pretty hard." A deep voice, with a smile hidden in it answered. Amy turned to see Ben coming across the ring towards her. "Horse box is coming at four." He told her quickly, wanting to get the news over with. Amy swallowed a lump sitting in her throat, but it didn't budge, if anything it got larger.

"Sure." She searched around for something else to say, "Hey, I was going to give Storm a groom in my free time today, would you mind taking Tarronto in, it'd give me a little more time." Ben looked confused by the change of subject but nodded nevertheless,

"Sure, I'll give him a quick rub down, last time I'll be doing that, eh boy?" He patted Tarronto's warm neck. "Do you mind if I give him a few more circuits round the ring, last session sort of thing?" Amy hated the word 'last' Ben kept dropping in, she resolutely ignored it.

"Course. I'll just go," She handed him the folded lunge line, "Ashley's arriving with the trailer at 10." Ben nodded some more and played with the line,

"I just-um- Well when I go, I want a chance to say goodbye properly so-" Amy cut him off again, _I can't hear this, _she thought.

"Ben I'm really busy, we'll talk later." And she practically ran from his confused, frustrated face.

Amy brushed her hair from her face and looked up as the light was block by a figure over the stable door- she expected it to be Ben and prepared an apologetic smile. To Amy's horror it was Ashley, _why do I always forget and run late? More to the point, why does she always have to be on time? _She thought gloomily.

"Horse box got in ok?" Amy asked, letting herself out of the stall, and bolting the door shut, giving storm a final tickle on the nose. Ashley nodded,

"But I spoke to Ben and he said Red doesn't leave till four, shall I just tie Magic up outside the stalls or something?" Amy frowned,

"You can always just leave him in the horse box if he'll be more comfortable." She pointed out, not a doubt in her mind that the Green Briar horse box was more than comfortable. Ashley turned a deep shade of red and pursed her lips,

"It's hired, and not for long either, so I'll just tie him up shall I?" She raised her eyebrows in impatience, wanting to be out of the awkward situation. When Amy took a moment to form her shocked reply Ashley clicked her tongue in annoyance and turning on her heel, marched smartly away, her tan, ankle-length riding boots making sharp, clip-clops on the uneven yard. After a moment Amy followed thoughtfully, waiting a distance away, leaning on the wall and giving the horse box a once over. It fitted in the yard, which was odd for starters, purely because it was a little shabby, paintwork peeling in places. The driver wasn't helping Ashley struggle with the ramp, he merely buried his nose further into the newspaper as the sound of scraping and swearing intensified at the back of the trailer. Amy righted herself and stretched, deciding she ought to help, she needed herself back in Ashley's good books if they were going to make this work. Before she'd gone more than three paces Amy noticed Ben jog to Ashley's rescue; he took the weight of the ramp easily and helped her lower it gently to the ground. Amy stopped short and watched the brief exchange between the two, stung by the easy smile playing across Ben's lips. Although one sprang to her own as she remembered Ashley's disastrous attempts to entangle Ben herself. Amy felt Ty's quiet presence arrive and place itself behind her,

"Let's see how Magic's doing then." He muttered, and Amy nodded, knowing he'd recognise the bobbing of her pony tail as a sign she'd heard him, her eyes too focused on the shabby trailer to turn to him. There was a clatter of hooves and Ben stepped a distance away from the trailer exit to give the pair space. They were certainly as striking as they had ever been, even in the tacky surroundings in which the stood they oozed class. Amy sighed in admiration for Bright Magic, she adored riding horses like him. Magic gave a loud snort and shook his head, his eyes darting all round the yard, Amy had no doubt he was taking everything in- he was a very intelligent and sensitive horse. Matched to Ashley? Only time would tell. Amy beckoned to Ashley, and she was just about to make her way over when the driver grunted out of the window. Ashley's hand jumped straight to her head as she searched her pockets, she gestured to her car and the driver shrugged grumpily. Ty darted from behind Amy and took the horse skilfully from Ashley, who looked only too grateful as she jogged to her sporty ride and fished the keys from her back pocket. Ben was fixing the back of the trailer and just as Amy looked around for something to do she heard the farm house door creak and Lou step out, a warm greeting to Ashley on her lips. Amy looked at the sea of people and felt lost, _Ashley should be feeling lost, getting everything wrong, at least for the first few days- not me. Guess I'll get on with my work, _She thought, resentful towards their new employee already, and she hadn't even officially started.

The trailer silhouetted through the feed room door was a sad sight for Amy. Red was all boxed and ready to go, Nick's driver was chatting to Lou and Scott from the cabin door and Ty stood with Grandpa a little further away. Ashley was missing, not so far away, but far enough to be respectful, under the pretence of getting Magic settled in, Amy was the second person missing, watching forlornly with an empty feeling from the feed room, wondering if the 'leaving' part in life ever got any easier. And the third, and most important, person missing was Ben. Amy heard footsteps behind her and looked around hurriedly for something to pretend to be busy with, she knew who it was.

"Amy," Ben's voice was soft as she spun round to meet his eye,

"Ben," He played with his hands and they both looked elsewhere for a minute or two.

"Um, this isn't the easiest thing ever," He admitted, Amy nodded with a hint of relief,

"Sometimes it gets easier, after a lot of time," She looked at him honestly, but Ben ran a hand through his fluffy hair with a disbelieving shake of his head,

"I've said some goodbyes," He muttered, "This is the hardest one yet Amy Flemming." She half nodded in response and then bathed in the silence, occasionally allowing her eyes to flick into his bright blue ones.

"You'd better-" She started to make his excuse to leave for him but Ben took a step closer, "Ben?" He placed a hand on her cheek and gently flicked a stray strand of her away from her eyes,

"Don't give up competing Amy." He urged her, and seeing her about to protest and give her reasons again he pressed on firmly, "Amy you _have _something, something special, and I don't just mean Storm. It's you too, you can't just let it go. Please!" His eyes searched hers but he was fighting a losing battle he knew. Ben compromised, "Promise me you'll try not to give up, you'll give it another shot before you leave it forever." She nodded, a little reluctantly and his hand dropped from her face a look of satisfaction passing across his. It was chased away quickly by a blush as he pulled something from his pocket, "You're my star Amy, please don't throw it all away." Amy stifled a gasp as her eyes rested on the object he'd produced. It was a necklace with a thin silver chain and a tiny, glistening crystal star hanging and spinning from Ben's large hands, it danced when the light caught it.

"Ben I can't-" He shook his head with a little smile,

"No refusals this time Amy, I know you don't like people spending money on you, but really…" He paused undoing the clasp and raising his eyebrows. Embarrassedly Amy scooped her light-chocolate hair from her neck and held it out of the way for him. Bens hands passed the necklace delicately around her neck and fastened it at the back, whispering as he did so, "My star." They paused, an intense moment where Amy knew something should be said, his hands resting on her shoulders, stood a little too close behind her.

"I wont come over," It wasn't the right thing being said, but it made all the right kinds of sense to Ben,

"I understand." His voice was husky with emotion, and then he was gone. Amy took a breath and turned away from the goodbye scene, her self-preservation making her list through all the jobs still to be done.


	3. Missing

**Author's Note: **_I'm writing a few less fanfics now so will update this more often, please don't give up on me :) :) :) xxx **review please! **_

Friday morning was well under way for everyone at Heartland when Ashley arrived at nine. Amy was reminded, as she stepped from the car and instantly looked a little lost, of how much she had to learn in how short a time- it annoyed her. Ty had the patience for teaching, Amy most certainly lacked it, especially when it came to Ashley. She preferred to just get on with things, and new people at Heartland always made that difficult. Nevertheless Amy strode to Ashley, empty feed buckets in hand, and offered a greeting smile.

"Amy," Ashley smiled in relief, and then remembered she had a job to do, she tucked her keys in her back pocket and waved her free hands, "Need me to take any of those?"

"No that's ok, I'm just collecting and washing," Amy cast her eyes around for a suitable Ashley-like job. She suppressed a smirk, "Fancy mucking out? The front stalls where Magic is all need doing." Ashley looked horrified, and extremely stumped, just for a moment, "You know how to-?" Amy stopped short of making a sarcastic remark about Ashley lack of mucking out experience as she saw a look of anger flash across the taller girl's face.

"Of course Amy, that's why I'm here, right?" She dared her to contradict. Amy couldn't think of a suitable reply so she merely shrugged,

"What you need is in the back barn." She replied shortly, and promptly left Ashley to fend for herself.

Amy was just finishing with Avie, or Avalon, a show horse who had come to cure her fear of being loaded. She'd been giving her a rub down with lavender oil, thinking about showing her owner, the determined yet caring show-jumper Alex, how to do the same before Avalon left. She walked quickly down towards the feed room, to replace the lavender oil before she got distracted and left the bottle somewhere, as was her tendency. She heard the feed room door open and looked up in surprise, Ashley and Ty were leaving the feed room together, and they were smiling at each other easily. Amy was shocked, this didn't make any sense in her head, sure, Ty was a nice guy; but there were limits.

"Amy," He smiled even wider, and there was the thing Amy _really _never understood- the way Ty was always so at ease, whatever the situation. "Ah! The mysterious lavender oil, I was just looking for that. I've been talking to Ashley about some of the methods."

"I still can't believe they work." Amy looked sharply to her at this sudden burst of truthfulness. She'd expected snide and sarcastic, sneaky and low comments from Ashley's lack of faith, not this.

"Oh well…" She was thrown, "They do. It'll take you a while till you've learnt enough to apply them." Ashley nodded,

"I know." Amy waited, hands on hips for an awkward moment, but when nothing snide came from Ashley's mouth she blushed. Ty was smirking, he knew exactly what she was thinking and was ready to say 'told you so'. Amy pushed past them and strode briskly to the feed room.

In the feed room Amy leaned back against the wall and drew a deep breath in. She closed her eyes, feeling the cold, dark with relief. She kept listening out- for the sound of a car coming, a car she knew full well wasn't coming to Heartland today. It had pulled in at 8.00 sharp to Nick's yard and its owner's day would be in full tilt by now. Wearily, Amy replaced the small bottle on the shelf and composed herself to leave the room.

Amy looked exasperatedly at Ashley's attentive, quiet figure, watching her session with Tarronto. Amy was trying desperately to find fault with Ashley's behaviour that day but apart from the fact work was far too slow, it being her first day everything needed teaching, there was nothing to criticise. _No reason to go to Lou and get her sacked then, _she thought gloomily, it annoyed her that Ashley was trying so hard, it was so un-Ashley-like that there had to be a motive- but what on earth was it? Amy shook herself and focused in on the horse she was lunging, calling him to the centre she watched him trot eagerly over to her and a smile grew in spite of her inner anger- there was nothing to beat a horse making a full recovery. As Amy was petting Tarronto's warm, strong neck she looked back over to Ashley, seeing Ty join her. If Amy had been a horse her ears would have pricked to attention, she watched closely the interaction- but it was nothing more than a few words while stood close together, although Ashley seemed to drink in every word. Ty looked up and noticed Amy watching, he beckoned her over. Amy took up the slack in the lunge rope and asked Tarronto to follow close to her shoulder, he was impeccably mannered.  
"Amy," She raised her eyebrows, looking at Ty and avoiding Ashley, whose gaze was running over the horse- _probably figuring out what he's worth_, Amy thought moodily.  
"Shall we let Ashley lunge him for a while? He can take five more minutes or so," He insisted, pre-empting, as usual, her retort she'd had ready. She nodded a little reluctantly and handed the line to Ashley without a word. Ashley nodded and took the thick rope in her hands, they were very pale. As she left meekly for the centre of the ring Amy rounded on Ty  
"Ty, that's my patient you just handed over to her."  
"I thought we treated the horses together Amy, we share decisions here, and we need to let Ashley in on that one day."  
"I know, I'm just not a hundred percent about her still."  
"Neither am I," He told her honestly, "But give her a chance, Val's not stupid, even if she is cruel, she'll have brought Ashley up to be good around horses, it'll just take her a while to get used to our methods. Amy, promise me?"  
"What?" She cocked her head to one side, glancing at Ashley's annoyingly competent lunging and then back to Ty's grey eyes,  
"That you'll give Ashley the same kind of chance you'd give any damaged horse, regardless of where it had come from." Amy looked mutinous, "Please," She shrugged,  
"Sure." What choice did she have? Ty was making sense, he always did. "You can finish up here," She added, feeling at a loss for what she could do other than start on the evening hay-nets.

Amy tried not to seem irritable while Ashley watched over her shoulder as she made the evening feeds.

"So that one is for Sugarfoot, and the next one is for Jasmine, then Sundance- he was a good little Pony, shame you grew-" Amy smiled, 'good' was never a word she'd use to describe Sunny, he was bad tempered and difficult but she loved him to bits and he'd served her well to compete on, _back when competing didn't take up so much time and effort, _she thought. "then that's Storm's you've just made?"

"Yep, you got it." With as much enthusiasm as she could muster,

"You put supplements in Storm's too?" Ashley raised her eyebrows in surprise or maybe scepticism, "I didn't think he needed anything." Amy smiled, lots of people just didn't understand their methods.

"He doesn't really but I add a tiny bit of Black Pepper oil, to help his muscles bounce back after shows and- well you tell me what else I add." Amy was struck by sudden inspiration, handed the bucket to Ashley to sniff. Warily she took it and breathed in deeply, she didn't have to get too close to guess the smell. Ashley smiled,

"Ew, Garlic. What's that for?"

"It helps the horses immune system, great for preventing or fighting infection. Storm's on the go so much it's really useful, Ben used to use it for Red, in the end." She remembered when Ben had first come to Heartland and gave a nostalgic half-smile, it hadn't been easy. "Do you want to do Magic's feed up while we're at it?"

"Sure," Ashley nodded, and self-consciously switched places with Amy, measuring out her chaff and pony nuts. "I love the smell of molasses." Ashley said suddenly, Amy started it this random outburst of feeling,

"Yeah- me too." She was awkwardly off balance but Ashley didn't even seem to notice as she picked up Jasmine and Storm's feed. "Want to try anything extra in with Magic's stuff?" She decided to push it. Ashley looked at her with one eyebrow raised,

"If it's all the same to you I'd rather keep it away from his feed thanks." She told her firmly. Amy shrugged; maybe she'd come round, like Ben had, or maybe not, it didn't really matter to her.

They left the feed room and Amy shut off the light, this was the last run of feeds, up to Storm's block, before they were finally done. As they crossed the yard Ty's silhouetted figure, leaning against his car, waved and watched as the two girls moved from stall to stall. Amy watched Ashley pet Magic for a long time before she said goodnight.

"Bye Amy." She called as she went past, tugging her hair free from her jacket collar and fishing her car keys from her back pocket.

"yeah, night." Amy replied a little more quietly. She stroked Storm's neck and let him nuzzle her hair as she watched Ashley leave; Ty got up off his car as she came over and said something to her, Ashley laughed, and then replied, they continued talking as she got into her car and Ty hopped into the old pick-up. Amy looked away in frustration. In her opinion Ashley had done nothing to earn Ty's respect or friendship, she'd hated them for a long time, and now Ty didn't even need a justification to get along with her. How could he accept her so easily? Why couldn't she? Amy was confused, upset and annoyed at herself, she wanted to let things go- all the things Ashley had said and done in the past- but it just wasn't possible.

She crossed over to the now empty parking lot and hitched herself onto the fence of the field. Amy pulled out her cell phone and punched in the number she'd been dying to call all day,

"Amy!" Ben answered enthusiastically on the first ring.

"Hey, I was wondering when to call."

"Me too! I wanted to call you straight away, but today's been hectic and then I finished at five, but I guessed with Ashley around things would take a little longer so…" He trailed off and Amy smiled, "Anyway I'm glad we caught each other."

"Me too." She smiled and took a deep breath, "So?"

"Oh it's amazing Amy." Ben breathed, she could hear him grinning, "Have you ever been to Nick's yard?"

"Just the once," She remembered, it was very professional but still very friendly.

"It's amazing," He enthused, "Really, Nick is a great boss, and the yard is so well equipped, Red is loving it." He sighed and in that pause Amy knew he was about to say something awkward, or confusing, or maybe both, "I really wish you were here Amy." She looked across to Pegasus' field and felt sad all of a sudden, and very alone, despite the warmly lit farmhouse nestling behind her.

"Yeah." She replied. Ben sensed tension and moved the subject on,

"How was today with Ashley?" Amy almost wish he hadn't

"Oh, I don't know." She played with the cuff of her jacket, wishing she could explain better, "Ty's been great with her, really, just helping her to settle in, being friendly, giving her a chance just- really great."

"Too great?" Ben asked pointedly,

"No…" She wasn't being entirely truthful as she bit her tongue and tried to figure a better wording, "Maybe a little. I don't think he likes Ashley it's just that I don't see how he can forgive all the times she's been nasty about Heartland, or mean to me, or all the horrible things her stables did to horses." She admitted finally, feeling good to be able to say it at last. Ben seemed to be considering his answer,

"I know what you mean Amy, but Ty's better than us at that. And maybe he understands her a little better than you or I do at the moment, you know what Matt said about her, I suppose he's giving her the chance to change, he did that for me too." Amy laughed a little at the memory, things hadn't always been so easy with Ty and Ben, but they'd worked through their problems. She guessed she'd have to do the same with Ashley.

"I know," She took a long pause, "Oh Ben, I miss you. It'd just be so much easier if…I feel really alone at the moment. I'm just on the edge of deciding so many things right now- and I don't have a clue about any of them."

"I know how you feel," He replied "It's just…these things take time, we all need some time. And on a lighter note," Amy smiled, relieved she'd spoken but happy to move away from things that hurt her head, "You'll see me again for your Grandpa's big dinner on Sunday."

"Yeah!" She enthused, jumping down from the fence, "I really can't wait for that."


	4. I've Got Time

**Author's Note: **_I'm sure you're all getting used to the awfully long time it takes me to write each chapter of these, with all my other commitments, so sorry about that. Thankyou for your patience and I hope you like this chapter as the chemistry between Amy and Ben grows! **please review! **_

Sunday was supposed to be a little more relaxed work-wise this week, because of the big dinner, but Amy found it more stressful because she had to finish early. They did, just about, manage to work all the horses but Ty and Ashley had been gone for half an hour and Amy was still vigorously sweeping through the tack-room.

"Amy it's time to get ready, you're not done yet?" Amy spun round,

"Oh Lou. You made me jump. I'm just going to finish up here, you go on inside, I'm fine- really."

"Amy, I know what you're doing, you can't avoid this dinner, it's Ben's big goodbye." Amy looked down, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I know, I'm not avoiding it." She insisted, "I just really need to finish this, we didn't get as much done as we should have today, because of finishing early."

"Do you want me to help?" Lou offered, holding out a hand for the broom,

"No it's fine, really I'd rather do it by myself-"

"Then it can be done tomorrow, or after dinner." Her older sister insisted, firmly removing the broom from Amy's grip and placing it out of reach. "Shower, change, brush your hair; now, go." She demanded, pointing mock-sternly at the door. Amy laughed and shuffled out, a little reluctantly.

Amy looked at herself in the mirror, after she'd showered, changed and brushed her hair, and thought she didn't look that bad after all. It was a fairly casual affair, at Heartland it always was, and she had worn her only pair of non-work jeans with a new slinky black top Soraya had persuaded her to buy over a month ago at the mall (this was only it's first outing).

"Amy, Soraya and Matt are here." Grandpa called up the stairs. Amy smiled, she hadn't seen them in far too long, and she hadn't yet had a chance to update them on Ashley progress. She passed her Grandpa at the bottom of the stairs, tea-towel slung over his shoulder ready to get the pie out of the oven, he took her hand and squeezed it. "You look lovely Amy."

"Thanks Grandpa." She smiled even wider and squeezed his hand back, and then dashed over to her friends. "Hey guys! It's been way too long." They wrapped each other in a three way hug, Matt holding his can of coke well out of harm's way.

"Good to see you Amy, looking good." He winked and grinned.

"Yeah, it makes a change to see you out of work clothes." His brother, Scott, called across the room. Scott was the local vet, and Lou's boyfriend, so his and Amy's paths crossed a lot at work and out of it.

"Likewise." She replied with a smile, noticing the effort he'd made today to look smart. Him and Lou were a stunning couple.

"_So,_" Her best friend changed the subject pointedly. "Ashley?" Amy met Soraya's eager eyes with a sheepish smile.

"Unfortunately, I have nothing bad to say." She shrugged, reaching for a drink herself.

"Are you serious, Amy Flemming?" She placed one hand on her hip. Matt laughed as he looked between Amy and Soraya.

"Totally." Amy was forced to admit, "She's amazing at everything she tries, she's not crazy about our methods but she hasn't said a single thing out of order. It's like she genuinely cares about being her but-"

"But you don't buy it." Soraya read her like a book.

"There has to be something else, why would she come to Heartland otherwise?"

"Spying for Green Briar."

"She's got nowhere else to go seems more like it,"

"Or maybe-" Matt held up a hand

"Guys let's take it back a step. Give Ashley a chance, maybe she just genuinely- is here, we should talk about something else." He nodded quickly over Amy's shoulder and both girls spun round. Ashley allowed Lou to take her coat, with a word of thanks and nervously twisted her bangles on her left wrist. Amy looked her up and down, she was very well put together; black, backless halter top with tight black jeans and silver, strappy heels (not too high), her nails were black with silver glitter and her hair was curly, slicked into a side pony-tail.

"How is it her make up always looks so flawless? Why can't I do make up like that?" Soraya moaned quietly. Amy giggled, she didn't care.

"Now, now dear, let's not let that stop us being nice." Matt reminded her jokingly. Soraya frowned playfully at him and Amy could practically see the sparks flying, it wouldn't be long before they were hooking up. She made herself smile warmly for Ashley.

"Hey Ashley, can I get you a drink?"

"Amy." She smiled thankfully, "Yes, please, erm, just soda please." Amy nodded and delved into the fridge for a cool soda.

"Make yourself at home." She smiled handing it to Ashley, almost enjoying that Ashley wouldn't feel at all at home for all of Amy's comforting comments. "Dinner should be soon." In the end it was Ashley that decided to break the formality,

"Not too soon I hope, it would be awful if Ben was late to his own dinner." She laughed lightly. Amy joined in half-heartedly,

"Good point."

-*-

"Hi beautiful." Amy spun round from her four-way, surprisingly successful, conversation with Matt, Soraya and Ashley, to the sound of a familiar voice.

"I don't see beautiful, but hi Amy," Ty joked, stood shoulder to shoulder with Ben and winked at Amy, smiling widely. Ben and Amy blushed, "But if I see this beautiful girl, I'll say hi from you Ben." He laughed and moved off to say hello to Lou and Scott.

"Hi Ben," She replied finally, disregarding both his comment and Ty's banter and looking into his bright eyes. "Erm, drink?"

"Love one." Ben grinned, but before Amy could turn round he'd reached across her for a can. His arm brushed her shoulder.

"Oh I was gonna-"

"No I just, didn't mean to steal your thunder as hostess," He smiled "Just kind of automatic, this is like a second home to me."

"yea." Amy nodded awkwardly, looking at the floor. She didn't know why she'd suddenly become so shy, or weird, around Ben, it had all happened so fast, ever since the confusion he'd begun by announcing his leaving. She knew it was going to be worse tonight, after this it'd be official- Ben wasn't coming back to Heartland. No matter how many times she said it in her head it still didn't feel real, just like her not competing any more, she couldn't make it sound real.

"Speaking of home," Lucky for Amy, Ben was feeling talkative tonight so he could over compensate for her. "I was thinking, you should come and see my new place, and Nick's sometime, Red is loving it. Hey maybe we could even go to a show together,"

"Ben…" Amy began, knowing where he was going.

"Ok, ok." Ben insisted, taking her hand lightly, trying to pull it off as a 'nothing' gesture but failing; his fingers were holding a little too tightly for that. "That was pushing it, but seeing my apartment and Nick's yard- that's not too much right? Just half a day and an evening off, that's all." Amy smiled slowly and squeezed his hand back,

"I'd love to." Then with a sudden spurt of bravery and a churn of her stomach she decided to just say what she was feeling "Um, after dinner do you want to go look round the yard for a bit, I'm pretty sure Storm is missing you."

"Definitely." Ben replied, a little too quickly, his gaze intense. Amy opened her mouth to try and form words, but was saved by Grandpa,

"Dinner time everyone, let's get sat down and tuck in before it gets cold." He called out to the room. Amy quickly wormed free of Ben's hand.

-*-

"Well that was…noisy." Ben laughed and then looked down at Amy's chestnut brown head, "I really appreciated all the effort you guys made tonight, it was really special." They stopped outside Storm's stable and he thrust his gentle head over the door, nuzzling first Amy and then turning to Ben with bright eyes. He breathed over Ben's hair and face, Ben laughed,

"See, I told you he missed you." Amy smiled and then gulped, "I miss you."

"I miss you too Amy." He didn't hesitate, he took a step closer and then added, "Already."

"I know." She groaned, "This is going to be so difficult us not working together, am I going to miss you every day?" Once Amy had begun being honest, it was easier to continue. Ben laughed,

"Well would it be selfish to say I hope so?" Now she laughed too as she ran her hand over Storm's smooth coat.

"When's your next show?" She changed the subject swiftly.

"It's the Tidmouth show, this Wednesday. Actually now you mention it I think Ashley's entered, has she asked for time off?" Amy shook her head, bewildered,

"Not yet." They fell silent for a while and Ben turned around slowly, surveying the yard wistfully.

"It's more peaceful here than Nick's." Amy smiled and checked her watched,

"Yes, but then I suppose even Nick's place is peaceful at eleven o'clock at night." She teased. The paused and drank in the silence, Amy listening to Storm's quiet breathing, she played with a strand of her hair.

"This goodbye is going to be, well maybe not as hard as before but, I really don't want to put us through goodbye twice." Ben commented. Amy glanced back at the house and nodded, knowing he could see her. "So I'll say it now, save making it so public." Again she just nodded, she felt the back of her throat burning. "So, um, bye Amy," He was painfully awkward, but she sort of understood why, if he was a horse he'd be fidgeting from foot to foot right now fighting of the 'flight' instinct. "I really hope we don't lose touch, just because we don't work together any more, we need to hang out, a lot."

"See," Amy turned around to him, suddenly becoming aware of how close together they stood, "Now that wasn't so bad. And yes, we should hang out a lot. Whenever we have the free time we have to spend it with each other, because…" She faltered,

"Because what Amy?" He whispered intensely, reaching a hand and brushing the lightest of touches across her hair,

"Because…"

"Why can't you just say it?" She took a sharp step back.

"Because I don't know, I'm not sure yet. And that's sort of why we have to keep spending time together." Ben sighed and lowered his hand, he crossed past her towards then house, pushing his hands into his pockets. But a smile still lingered as he said,

"I've got time Amy, it's ok, you don't have to know." And then he wandered back towards the little white cottage. Amy took a deep breath, _you know, _she thought to herself, watching the empty horizon of Clydesdale Ridge, _time's really not the problem, I don't need more time, what I need is a new brain, _she laughed to herself, _I wonder what Mum would think of Ben? _


End file.
